by christineg
Fri Jul 02, 2010 6:43 pm
Hi All and thanks in advance for any help or guidance. This is a long convoluted story and I don't have all of the details but I will try as best I can to provide the information without being too long.
Here is the situation: I think my friend has fallen prey to a romance scammer. She met him online (okcupid web site). He lives in another state, about 2.5 hour flight from us. She decided to continue talking to him despite the distance because he encouraged her, he said she seemed different and special, and he has now said he would move here. He is playing on her emotions to keep the relationship going.
He claims to be working on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico (helping to clean up the BP oil spill). He says he has a daughter being taken care of by his mother in the UK, his wife died in a car accident several years ago.
After my friend and he had talked online for a month or so, and they both wanted to talk on the phone, he informed her that she would have to get her cell phone set up with satellite phone capability. To do this, he directed her to send an email to an address (I don't have it) and they emailed her back asking her to Western Union $400 to a person in the UK (we are in the US). She sent the money and then they sent another email asking for an additional $320 because her phone required "special services". She sent that money as well, and she was able to talk on the phone to the person I call her predator. However, the majority of the conversation still takes place over email / IM / text message. The phone calls are few and short and she has told me that the connection on the "satellite phone" makes it very hard to hear him and his accent seems very thick! (And by the way, I had done some research on this ScamWarners site before she sent the 2nd payment and informed her of the scam which is documented on here of people asking for money to hook up satellite phones by those claiming to be military personnel... it didn't change her mind, and she still sent the 2nd payment.)
Soon after that, coincidentally she was scheduled to go on a business trip to his home city. She informed him of this, and they made plans for her to extend her trip a couple days and for him to return home from the oil rig. When the day came for him to return home, he told her he was not able to make it off the oil rig and she spent the weekend alone in this city. Even though she was devastated at the time, she still continued communicating with him and he promised her that he would make a trip to her home to visit.
He was scheduled to arrive yesterday afternoon. Of course, he did not arrive and has made only minimal contact with her since yesterday... and the contact has been over text message. He told her some story about missing his flight, having to work, etc.
I am worried he is going to try to scam her more than the $720 she has already lost. She has told me that she and her predator were talking about him sending her a check so he could have spending money when he gets here. She would deposit it and give him the cash. I sent her information on check-cashing frauds. She said someone was supposed to Western Union her the cash first so she wasn't worried about what I sent. Then I found out today that he returned the $720 she spent on her "satellite phone" hookup by getting her credit card number and crediting her account! This made me very concerned, of course. Now the predator has her credit card information!
Here is my question: How do I help her? I don't know what to do... obviously, I have tried talking to her, I have pointed things out (the satellite phone scam and the check cashing scam), but it falls on deaf ears. She gets angry at me or others who try to tell her what is happening. She is REALLY emotionally involved with her predator and thinks they are going to be together for the long-term. Any advice would really be appreciated.
Here is the situation: I think my friend has fallen prey to a romance scammer. She met him online (okcupid web site). He lives in another state, about 2.5 hour flight from us. She decided to continue talking to him despite the distance because he encouraged her, he said she seemed different and special, and he has now said he would move here. He is playing on her emotions to keep the relationship going.
He claims to be working on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico (helping to clean up the BP oil spill). He says he has a daughter being taken care of by his mother in the UK, his wife died in a car accident several years ago.
After my friend and he had talked online for a month or so, and they both wanted to talk on the phone, he informed her that she would have to get her cell phone set up with satellite phone capability. To do this, he directed her to send an email to an address (I don't have it) and they emailed her back asking her to Western Union $400 to a person in the UK (we are in the US). She sent the money and then they sent another email asking for an additional $320 because her phone required "special services". She sent that money as well, and she was able to talk on the phone to the person I call her predator. However, the majority of the conversation still takes place over email / IM / text message. The phone calls are few and short and she has told me that the connection on the "satellite phone" makes it very hard to hear him and his accent seems very thick! (And by the way, I had done some research on this ScamWarners site before she sent the 2nd payment and informed her of the scam which is documented on here of people asking for money to hook up satellite phones by those claiming to be military personnel... it didn't change her mind, and she still sent the 2nd payment.)
Soon after that, coincidentally she was scheduled to go on a business trip to his home city. She informed him of this, and they made plans for her to extend her trip a couple days and for him to return home from the oil rig. When the day came for him to return home, he told her he was not able to make it off the oil rig and she spent the weekend alone in this city. Even though she was devastated at the time, she still continued communicating with him and he promised her that he would make a trip to her home to visit.
He was scheduled to arrive yesterday afternoon. Of course, he did not arrive and has made only minimal contact with her since yesterday... and the contact has been over text message. He told her some story about missing his flight, having to work, etc.
I am worried he is going to try to scam her more than the $720 she has already lost. She has told me that she and her predator were talking about him sending her a check so he could have spending money when he gets here. She would deposit it and give him the cash. I sent her information on check-cashing frauds. She said someone was supposed to Western Union her the cash first so she wasn't worried about what I sent. Then I found out today that he returned the $720 she spent on her "satellite phone" hookup by getting her credit card number and crediting her account! This made me very concerned, of course. Now the predator has her credit card information!
Here is my question: How do I help her? I don't know what to do... obviously, I have tried talking to her, I have pointed things out (the satellite phone scam and the check cashing scam), but it falls on deaf ears. She gets angry at me or others who try to tell her what is happening. She is REALLY emotionally involved with her predator and thinks they are going to be together for the long-term. Any advice would really be appreciated.
